when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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