I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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