I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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