Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
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There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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