But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
