Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
