Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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