I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
