he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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