am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
