So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
