I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
