I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize