Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
