im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize