So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
