Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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