Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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