I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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