Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
how drunk are you?
Several
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
