I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
