Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
