pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
