....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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