Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
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He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
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I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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