We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
