meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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