There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to calm my uterus...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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