I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
