You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
