Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
