i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
