All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
