bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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