Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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