He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
