Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
