Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
