Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
