so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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