Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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