Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Jerry, you need to find god
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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