Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
