SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
