apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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