That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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