my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
false alarm, still single
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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