hotel room ftw
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
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She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
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Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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