The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
This is the high leading the old right now
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
