dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
