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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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