i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
