I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize