Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
