Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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